Friday, October 3, 2:30pm - 3:00am

Friday, the late night version.


We showed up at the hospital around 2 (we were supposed to be there by 2:30, but had been told that if we were late they would CANCEL our C-Section! Yikes!) They got us all checked in and took me back to the prep room, where I promptly passed out. No, not really. But I was terrified of everything that lay ahead ... IVs, epidurals, surgery ...



None of it was nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Thankfully my husband is not squeamish like I am. He donned some super sexy scrubs and watched the entire surgery happen! I made someone promise they would take a picture of him in scrubs - wish I could have gotten one with the hat and mask, too!

Rick also manned the camera - he was a busy guy! He got a picture of the clock right as Caleb was born ...

So at 4:45 pm on Friday, October 3rd, Caleb Warren Carman was born! The C-Section process is crazy - I could feel everything (as far as tugging, pulling, etc), but no pain whatsoever. Crazy! I won't go into any more detail than that to spare those with weak stomachs ... like me.

Caleb was 6 lbs 5 oz, 19 3/4" long! Lots of people say - oh well, they must have gotten your due date wrong. Nope, I promise, they didn't. Rick was also born 5 weeks early and weighed about 6.5 lbs. It's genetic - big babies! :) Caleb doesn't look preemie, but he is!

So ... since we knew he was 5 weeks early, we knew he would probably need some help breathing. What we didn't expect was how much help he would need, and how immediately he would need it.

What most of you already know is that his grand debut was a little on the scary side. He was born, screamed at us for taking him from his warm home, and then decided to quit breathing.

I don't need to relive it for you - it was extremely scary for Rick who was watching the entire ordeal and for me, who couldn't see a thing but Rick's concerned eyes peering over the scrubs mask, telling me that everything was going to be fine. I don't know how he maintained his composure. Caleb was rushed to the NICU with a great deal of breathing problems and a large following of doctors and nurses behind him. He was on a respirator and hooked up to just about every tube (it seemed) that they had in the NICU. There were SO many people praying, and I just have to thank everyone again for their willingness to pray!

It's hard to explain how the peace of God mixed with my fear of losing my son. It's one of those times I guess where despite my flesh being terrified, the Lord shows up mightily and allows parents not to go crazy. :) I didn't sleep much, but I didn't go crazy either.

My entire family was here, which was wonderful, and they probably know more of this story than I do. Rick certainly does. I was somewhat out of it, and was able just to be wheeled up next to Caleb a few hours later to touch his finger. It was so difficult to watch him struggling to breathe, and to hear the NICU doctors have such concern about his situation. It was terrible not to be able to hold him. I never dreamed that part of this day would be longing to hold my little boy!

The wonderful news is that at 3am Saturday morning Caleb began to improve, and he has continued to improve each passing hour! We were given that news later on Saturday morning. At this point in the story though, Caleb was improving but was still on a respirator which was doing all of his breathing for him. And he was getting more beautiful by the moment, but that is beside the point.

Our baby boy, plus 200 pounds of plastic ... (which we are SO thankful for!)

Easily the most frightening night of my life.

The Lord is so faithful. Not for saving our little one, although we are thankful for that - He doesn't promise to never allow infants to die. He was faithful to give us strength to get through it, and He has continued to be!

This is what Rick said about it while we were just talking, and I had to add it in ... God's faithfulness has been so apparent, not in the fact that He allowed Caleb to live nor because He answered prayers the way we asked Him to answer, but in the unexpected ways that we saw His hand orchestrating little details along the way. That's where I've seen His faithfulness the most ... He's so right. So many things have happened along the way that only God could have organized ... those have been such glimpses into His care for us!

I'd love to say that while I prayed all night long for Caleb, I never feared or doubted, but that isn't true. In fact several times, I tried desperately to sleep just to get away from the anxiety. But God brought peace throughout the night, and I didn't ever have to sneak away and break into the NICU to be near my child. Or that might actually be because I couldn't feel my legs still from the epidural and had no way of breaking out of my room, even though I tried for hours to devise a plan to get into a wheelchair and race upstairs to the NICU. Just kidding ... mostly.

Pretty adorable, isn't he? Couldn't resist adding in the foot printing picture as well! (Great pictures, new Dad!)

I wish I could really do a good job of explaining what a joy and comfort my family was, and how amazing Rick has been this entire time. He probably ought to apply for his nursing license after all he's done for me this week. Thank you, Sweetheart. You are truly an example of Christ's love to me, and you are more selfless than you ever give yourself credit for, even in the midst of one of the hardest, if not the hardest, trials of your life. I love you.